I am a photographer, I like to be behind the camera. Being in front of the camera kind of scares me! However because I feel so strongly about the boudoir work I do, I really felt it was important for me to experience what my clients go through when they have a shoot with me, so I decided to do my own. The first thing that comes to mind is OUCH!!! Dang, I am sore from the poses! I knew it was strenuous, but wow I underestimated how difficult some of the poses can be. Now I can better relate to my clients when they are arching their back, pushing their chin forward until it hurts and giving a sexy expression all while your weight is on the back leg! I have to say to all of my clients so far, WAY TO GO you did WAY better than me! I was such a big baby!
The second thing that surprised me was how nervous I was! I realized that I was more nervous about looking awkward, ugly, or otherwise unattractive than anything else. I kept thinking about my cellulite, dimples, the fat in my armpit and all the other bulges. I was nervous about my own performance and my insecurities about my body started surfacing. However once we started I felt a lot more at ease. I was paying so much attention to the coaching that I forgot about my insecurities.
There are two reasons I decided to do this shoot:
I really wanted some beautiful portraits of myself, I love the portraits of my clients and I knew that I wanted some photos of myself like that. I also knew Miguel, my husband wanted me to do it.
Probably the main reason I decided to do them was to prove to myself and clients that I really do believe you should book a session to have your portraits made even if you are not your ideal size. So many women tell me that they would love a session, but they want to lose some weight first. I am the queen of putting things off until I lose weight, buying clothes, taking vacations, doing portraits, etc. I am the biggest now that I have ever been and I don’t exactly feel sexy and beautiful all of the time. But I have seen how these sessions actually boost a woman’s confidence and show her that she is beautiful at her current size. I really do feel beautiful in these photos! I can feel beautiful as is, and that is worth more than anything. For example, I am not a big makeup wearer and I usually just let my hair dry naturally because it is naturally curly. But after I did this session I found myself taking a little more time in the bathroom to get ready, and wearing clothes that were cute, not just comfy – oh how I love my yoga pants! I am the type of person who dresses frumpy when I don’t feel great about my body, but now, I can see that I do have beautiful features and I shouldn’t hide them under the oversized t-shirts.
To put your nerves to rest I would just say, try not to worry about it. We can see you in a way that you don’t see yourself and if you trust us and listen to our coaching you will be happy with your results. We will discuss your style and the type of clothing and lingerie to wear that will be the most flattering and comfortable for you. if you want a session but are worried that you need to lose weight, or need to grow your hair longer, or you have too many stretch marks then just
remember that you deserve to feel beautiful right NOW no matter your size, shape, or age. This is coming from a girl who is not a size 2 either, I have a big ole booty, monster thighs, a chubby tummy, back rolls and am a size 14 – even so, after my session and seeing my portraits I feel more beautiful now than I have in a long time.
You can see my most recent session here!